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What made you stop being an addict?

15.06.2025 10:12

What made you stop being an addict?

I saw every girl or woman as a sex object including kid girls. There was no way I would look at a woman and not think of f*cking her.

But how was I going to do it when everything I knew wasn't working? I didn't know

I didn't even start counting the days because I didn't really believe I would get this far.

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Now how do you quit your addiction?

A couple of months later I started hating it and regretting after every session. Yet, I couldn't stop.

The harder I tried, the worse it became. I could get angry with myself and go about 3 days without it but when I relapse, I can do 3 in a day. And the subsequent days; it's just me getting drowned in the rabbit hole.

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And these were just the act and not the mental and social problems associated with addiction.

So I thought had unlocked a new potential in life. I was doing it even if I don't feel the urge. I forced the urge to come by watching pornography.

I remember I once did it in my classroom at dawn. I did it in the hospital's washrooms. I did it in the lab where I work; both daytime and midnight.

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Is masturbation and p*rn bad?

I made sure I downloaded every video that was nice for me. This took almost the whole day.

I went there early in the morning trying to watch a movie and I found the CD inside the video player so I decided to watch what was on it and that was the beginning of the life I never wanted.

Ive been pretending to be okay and acting as normal as possible, but Im actually completely heartbroken after a recent breakup. Its painful and really affecting me, to the point where I cant concentrate at work, Ive lost my appetite, I cant sleep, and It feels as if my whole world has been turned upside down. I loved him so much. He said so many cruel things to me and it made me realize he must not have loved me the way I loved him, or he wouldnt have said such horrible things. How do I handle the heartbreak and why cant I accept that he didnt love me and just forget about him?

Just keep trying

It took me days to finish watching them. Finally I decided to go to the washroom to do The Last Fap.

I so badly wanted to f*uk a girl, yet I was so shy of girls. I never wanted to meet anyone. I always wanted to hide behind the phone and text.

Why did you put a guy’s dick in your mouth the first time?

Now I don't wait to be talked to before I respond. I talk when I think I'm supposed to.

It didn't feel great after ejaculating but hey, who cares about feelings?

Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.

Why do I feel so down and not happy anymore? I also feel really tired and non-motivated. Is that normal for someone to feel that way?

Was quitting worth the effort? At least for my mental health, it's a billion times worth it.

Read that again ☝️

Around age 9 I discovered pornography through my uncle, he had left the CD in the video player in the night after enjoying himself.

Im not transphobic/homophobic but, am I in the wrong for being uncomfortable when a trans person comes into the lockeroom? I just dont want them to stare at me while Im changing.

Now I have the mental fortitude to face life's every day battles.

I went on my favourite site and started scrolling through my favourite categories; petite girls, sleeping girls, Japanese girls, Japanese mom, Japanese wife, massage, forced, in the bus, gangb*ng, Muslim girls, ebony, student and teacher, in the classroom, curvy, African, etc

I just finished watching the best of the best p*rn videos on the planet. Now there's nothing else to look for on p*rn sites again.

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So I'm still hanging on this lie.

And I can also talk to them now.

I did it while watching my sister. I did it while touching my sister 😭 I did it while watching my landlord's daughter.

Isn't it ironic people always talk about how much women hate Donald Trump, when almost any of them would marry him if they could? What he said in the 2005 Billy Bush video, almost every woman would share the sentiment if it got them his lifestyle.

Now I know I have all the nice videos on my phone, the rest I don't have, are not nice. So I had to start watching them one after the other. Some of them were even 2 hours long but I made sure I watched every little bit of it.

I know some people masturbate and they don't have the problems I went through.

I got tired of always breaking the promises I made to myself.

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All I knew was that, I couldn't masturbate without p*rn. I was first getting the urge to watch p*rn, while watching, I would now feel like masturbating.

Am I totally free? I don't know 😕

I secretly kept on watching and watching until I got 19. At this time, I had started feeling the urge to ejaculate as I was watching the pornography.

I did it in my administrator's office.

No self esteem. No confidence. No ambition. Just dreams.

And I DID IT EVERYDAY

Oh, and everyday I woke up tired 😫 I never slept early too. My mental health was nothing to write home about.

I knew something had to be done about my wasting existence because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.

There were times I was counting the days when I'm clean. But now I don't, because I got tired of counting and relapsing and starting all over again.

I don't know if all addictions are like this 🤔

RUN 🏃‍♂️ for your dear life

I started rubbing it and I liked how I was feeling so I kept on doing it faster and EUREKA, sperms came out of my dick.

I remember sitting on the bed and smiling and that was when it hit me that I have successfully masturbated.

So all I had to do was to find a way to trick my dirty brain to think that p*rn isn't nice.

There were times I could go 3 months without watching p*rn or masturbating but somehow I always came back to it.

But for me, I would say RUN away from it

Do I wake up everyday with lots of energy? No but that's because I have a health problem, which is a story for another day.

I always wished they would sit inappropriately or the wind would blow up their dress so I can see things.

I did it in my room. I did it in my washroom. I did it in school in the washrooms.

I knew about masturbation but I didn't actually think of doing it but one day, on my bed when I was preparing to go to school I was watching pornography and something just came in mind; why don't you rob your dick with your hand?

This was February 2019.

Have I stopped seeing girls as sex objects? Not entirely, I still want to f*ck some of them.